How are we supposed to get things right anyway? I always dreamed that I’d be the cool mom that my kids would love having me around and tell me everything. I guess I thought we’d be best buds or something of the sort. I’ve been realizing a lot about myself lately. For instance, that I pride myself on being so nice, patient and a great listener however, recent events have proven otherwise.
I found that when my daughter speaks I quickly give an opinion even before considering her state of mind on the issue. In my head I was just trying to be helpful, but all she heard was predetermined judgment.
Wow! I don’t even recognize myself sometimes, this isn’t who I thought I’d be. This isn’t who I want to be. I need to work on my listening skills.
Moving on to my son…here’s where my patience comes into play or does it?
Grades aren’t exactly a priority for him, never really have been. However, I have explained on more than one occasion that he needs to try his best. He always responds with an “I’m sorry and I’ll try harder”. After the 3rd or 4th time I pretty much lose it.
Patience goes flying right out the proverbial window and I can see him shutting down. Where’s that together mom that I was supposed to be? I could sure use her right about now. Instead I’m left to deal with this half crazed lunatic spouting off how disappointed and frustrated she is.
You know, when my son is acting out or being disrespectful and we sit down to have our devotional, on many occasions the topic has been on point to what he’s been doing or going through. I always manage to point out to him that perhaps God is trying to tell him something.
But lately it’s me that God is targeting.
I sat down to my morning devotional in the stillness of my darkened living room to find that God had words, a message, for me. It spoke of a healthy, loving environment where your kids can feel safe even in failure.
A question was posed about whether or not your child’s mistakes were a doorway to your anger or seen as an opportunity to model God’s love to help them grow and learn something new.
Whoa! Right there I realized that I had lost perspective, I was broken.
At first I was sad, sad for the mom I wanted to be but am not. Sad that I lost my way.
Then I prayed and was grateful that He showed me not only what I was doing wrong, but guided me to where I needed to be. That’s not to say that I miraculously changed, but I find myself thinking and praying more before I speak or act.
I know I have a lot of work ahead of me but with God all things are possible, even for the broken.
I trust that He will guide me every step of the way, that I might show my kids the love of God that drives out fear.
There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. 1 John 4:18
I’d love to hear your thoughts on parenting. How do you keep a handle on it? Share what works for you…I can use all the help I can get.