Its 5:00 am, the day starts off as usual, trudge my way in a sleepy fog off to start the day. Wake up kids, get breakfast on the table and those lunch boxes ready to go. They finally get dressed and show up in the kitchen bleary-eyed, but ready to eat. The morning starts slow but the quiet brings peace that helps conversation flow.
Though daylight has not reached us we’re on our way to the bus stop as my daughter tells me how she’s worried about her grades or that she doesn’t feel smart enough sometimes. Asks if I think she’s a good writer or if she’s just fooling herself into thinking she can be one someday. Her eyes upon me wondering, waiting for encouragement. She cares what I think. My child needs me. So I tell her the truth.
I don’t say this just because she is my daughter or solely out of love when I say the certainty of her talent is clear. I point out the beauty in the words she pens, the emotion she invokes and how though difficult a feat, she rises to it. I have no doubt she will one day be that writer she aspires to. She will do great things and she knows I’m her biggest fan.
Next I drive my son to school. At times these drives can be silent when sleepiness is hard to fight. But today my son had something on his mind. He blurted out these words, “I know I’m not normal”. As you can imagine my mind raced trying to process what he meant. Quickly worried and even briefly blamed myself. “Why would you say that?” is what came out of my mouth. What he said next was nothing I had expected to hear.
“I’m not like other kids. The other boys think all girls are the same, but I know that’s not true. They’re all different and special in their own way. I think it’s because you homeschooled me Mom. And I’m glad for that because I learned from being around you and my sister all the time. I know that’s what God wants me to do”.
I thanked him for telling me that but I have to tell you that he has no idea how wonderful that was to hear.
As a mom you work so hard to do everything you can for your children. You sacrifice and love unconditionally praying that you won’t mess them up and that they’ll grow up to be beautiful human beings. These are the moments, unexpected conversations of the heart that are like payment in full.
My kids know that I love them but cannot even fathom the amount of love I have for them. These are the moments I want to remember when I feel like I’m not enough. When I feel overwhelmed and under-appreciated I need to recall these moments, these words, and their love.
I know that down the line I’ll still make mistakes and doubt myself along the way but I’m thankful for God’s reminders. Letting me know that I don’t have to be perfect and in the scheme of things all is well. God has blessed me with an amazing family to nurture and I am privileged to be loved by them.
25 Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come.
26 She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.27 She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.28 Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her.
I encourage you today to take a moment and know that you are loved. That there is more to being a mom than preparing lunches, making beds or driving your kids around. That all you do is not in vain, all you are is infinitely more important to your family than any mistake you have ever made. You are more and love covers all.