It was a morning like no other. The last 13 hours of my life had significantly changed more than I could have ever imagined. Who I was had now been altered, changed, re-created even into a new version of me.
There is no going back. As my eyes slowly fluttered open I gazed upon the most beautiful face I had ever seen. It was round, flushed and peppered with an auburn sort of peach fuzz. I forgot all the pain. I forgot all the fear. All there was now was to focus on this little piece of “us” sleeping softly in my husbands arms and how she had transformed me into “Mom”.
Surely that was the first moment that I felt like a mom, however I was blessed to relive that moment once again four years later. I received into my arms my glorious boy who was the spitting image of his father. He taught me that I, as a mom had so much love to give. Unspeakable joy! That’s the only way I can explain what this child brought to me.
With each birth I wanted to be the best mom I could. I nursed ’til it hurt. I cared for, swaddled and protected them with all I had. Who needs sleep anyway… As the years have gone by and they’ve grown so much, I continue to care and protect. I definitely sleep more and I had to lay off the swaddling.
These days I’ve been thinking about what I do as mom. I sometimes have fallen into the trap of feeling guilty that I’m a stay at home mom when people ask me what I “do”. You’re just a mom? That sounds insulting and I’ll admit that it makes me feel like less of a person. Like what I do isn’t valuable.
This week I was thinking about all the jobs I’ve had in my life and I prayed asking God to help me focus on what’s important. I realized then and there that my “job” as a mom has been the one to provide me with the best reward.
It’s the job I have been most successful at. That’s not to say that I am flawless at it, but rather that God has blessed me with beautiful, wonderful kids that have grown into truly, lovely souls. That in it self is the most amazing blessing I could have ever hoped for.
I am cook. I am chauffeur. I am nurse. I am teacher.
I am Mom…
In giving myself up to You Lord,
that’s where the magic happens.
In You is where my value lies.
A while back I was one of many contributing authors to a book titled New Life Within. In which I wrote the story of my pregnancies and the ups and downs of it. I had drawn this image as an expression of an expectant mother and wanted to share it with you along with this poem I’ve written about the fears that enter your mind about all that comes with being a mom. Rest assured that there are more blessings than you can possibly imagine.
As you wonder
What it’s like
Doubts that fly
Need wings be clipped
For there is joy
There is hope
There is new life
Happy Mothers Day
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