16

Broken But Not Forgotten

 

cropped-800px-Soap_bubbles-jurvetson1

She was so bubbly during dinner time. Ate her food so quickly in order to make it on time to church for her usual Wednesday night youth group bible study.  A few hours later when it was over, her mom pulled into the church parking lot to pick her up. She opened the car door to take a seat and immediately her mother noticed that there was something different.  Something heavy in the air. Nothing bubbly about it. Not wanting to be intrusive, her mom casually asked how her night went, to which she answered a short  CeliArt © 2015 @Time2Refuel ™  Mom pressed a bit more to discuss the topic they had studied that night and quickly moved on to ask who she had been “hanging out” with.  The answer was pained, abrupt and disjointed.  Leading her mom to believe that the heavy feeling she felt was not just her imagination but rather in her daughter’s demeanor. Point blank her mom asked, “Are you okay?”
To which she received a quickCeliArt © 2015 @Time2Refuel ™

Her daughter was very insistent and went as far as saying  CeliArt © 2015 @Time2Refuel ™

CeliArt © 2015 @Time2Refuel ™

The truth…she was tired.  Tired of being ignored.  Later on that night she let her mother into the truth of the matter.

CeliArt © 2015 @Time2Refuel ™

CeliArt © 2015 @Time2Refuel ™

Her bubbly demeanor was burst

Can you relate? What do you do when your teen feels pushed aside, forgotten or left out?  My heart breaks every time I think about what she must have felt.  As an adult I’ve experienced that sensation of being left out, not being able to connect with those that we’d like to be friends with and the pain that goes with it. Imagine how much more devastating to a teenaged girl. I can see how that could happen to me because I was quite shy.  This young girl however is extremely outgoing, involved in her church and always willing to help a hand. All the adults rave about her.  You couldn’t ask for a sweeter girl. So why do kids her age not seek her out or include her. The saddest part is that this girl has been battling this issue quietly for several years now.  She confessed to her mother that she even opened up about it during a bible study one night last year.  She told them she felt left out and how she would really like to feel included, like part of the group.  Do you know that not one girl approached her afterward.  Poor thing was so disillusioned.  It just doesn’t make sense.  If anyone has some insight I’d love to pass it on.

As a parent our first instinct would be to protect our child’s heart.  It’s so easy to get caught up in the hurt which quickly turns into defensive anger.  What do you do when they get angry because they just can’t deal with it anymore?

CeliArt © 2015 @Time2Refuel ™

Take this opportunity to speak to them about how God wants them to trust Him completely and that sometimes we place too much emphasis on the wrong things.  How they shouldn’t let circumstances change who they are but rather allow God to mold them into who He knows they can be.

CeliArt © 2015 @Time2Refuel ™

“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.”―

C.S. LewisThe Four Loves

I’m praying for God to heal this girls wounded heart and send her some very special, close friends.  That He in turn stir their hearts to seek her out, forming a bond created by His power. That she not allow anger in but rather cast it out in the name of Jesus and let down her walls in order to truly, freely trust that God is in control. 

Though she may feel broken, she is not forgotten

Will you please join me in praying for this young lady that so desperately wants to connect? Also for her mother who is heartbroken for her daughter and probably won’t be getting much sleep tonight. If so please show your support by leaving your prayers and words of encouragement in the comments.CeliArt © 2015 @Time2Refuel ™

 

 

 

CeliArt © 2015 @Time2Refuel ™

 

Happy to be linking up withModest Mondays, Proverbial Homemaker, Motivate and Rejuvenate MondaysA Mama’s Story, What Joy is Mine, The Life of Faith, Mom’s the Word, Titus 2sDay, Testimony Tuesday, #RaRaLinkUp, Purposeful FaithCornerstone Confessions, Blog HopTeaching What Is Good,Wise Woman, WholeHearted Wednesday, Women With Intention, Three Word WednesdayTellHisStoryCoffee for your Heart, Wednesday Prayer Girls, Word Filled WednesdayI Choose Joy Link UpThought Provoking Thursday Link Up, The Deliberate Mom, Growing in GraceA Field of Wild Flowers, Angela Parlin,While I Wait,  Arabahjoy Grace & Truth, Imparting GraceLittle Things ThursdayGraced SimplicityFellowship Fridays,  Friday Favorites, Friday Flash Blog,MomfessionalsFaith Filled Friday,Give Me Grace, The Weekend Brew,Sunday Stillness,A Group Look, Spiritual Sundays, Faith N Friends, DancingWithJesus

21

On Guard

CeliArt © 2015 @Time2Refuel ™

The age-old “grass is greener on the other side” is ever prevalent.  It’s funny how it always seems like everyone else’s relationship is so much better than your own.  You might look to your side and notice the special way that another couple  looks at each other, or the way they go on about one another. 

Sooner or later if you look close enough you’ll find that those relationships are facing similar struggles if not worse ones than you are.  What can we learn from this?  No one’s life is perfect of course…no one has a trouble-free relationship. 

The difference is that there are those that pursue a solution versus those that toss in the towel prior to finding that one thing that will make the difference.   It’s never easy to give in and say, I can’t take it anymore.  But sometimes it’s even harder to go the distance and seek out someone that can help.

Why is it that we struggle with talking about our issues?  Shouldn’t we want to do anything we can in order to resolve those things that are so huge in our lives?  Being proud only hinders your progress. 

When will we realize that our spouses are not the enemy but rather that we are being used against one another?  When we realize the issues at hand we have to consider who benefits from the turbulence in our relationships. 

I want to encourage you today to be ever vigilant. Be clear minded and don’t let the darkness invade your light but consider yourself blessed when you are attacked. Yes, I said blessed!  Attacks come upon those that are heading down the right path, make sure not to let the darkness run you off.

 Be of sober spirit, be on the alert. Your adversary, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.

1 Peter 5:8

“En garde”

#Time2Refuel

I’m happy to be linking up with the lovely women at:

Modest Mondays, Proverbial Homemaker, Motivate and Rejuvenate MondaysA Mama’s Story, What Joy is Mine, The Life of Faith, Mom’s the Word, Titus 2sDay, Testimony Tuesday, #RaRaLinkUp, Purposeful FaithCornerstone Confessions, Blog HopTeaching What Is Good,Wise Woman, WholeHearted Wednesday, Women With Intention, Three Word WednesdayTellHisStoryCoffee for your Heart, Wednesday Prayer Girls, Word Filled WednesdayI Choose Joy Link UpThought Provoking Thursday Link Up, The Deliberate Mom, Growing in GraceA Field of Wild Flowers, Angela Parlin,While I Wait,  Arabahjoy Grace & Truth, Imparting GraceLittle Things ThursdayGraced SimplicityFellowship Fridays,  Friday Favorites, Friday Flash Blog,MomfessionalsFaith Filled Friday,Give Me Grace, The Weekend Brew,Sunday Stillness,A Group Look, Spiritual Sundays, Faith N Friends

10

My Past Is Always in My Present

In you

I see myself as we navigate our crazy, messy motherhood’s

With you

I cry and vent about all the struggles that we endure

In you

I trust to listen and not to ever judge

With you

I Laugh and know that I can always be myself

In you

I find a heart to trust that never holds on to grudges

With you

I voice my fears and doubts finding your compassion

In you

I value the comfort that helps to keep me grounded

With you

I have a past that is always in my present

In you

I’m blessed to find solidarity and reassurance

With you

I’m reminded to have faith and trust God has something more

In you

I have a best friend that always makes me feel normal

With you

I can confidently share any whisper

I am certain of all this

And I know

Because…

You are my sister

CeliArt © 2015 @Time2Refuel ™

Life has been crazy, good and painful at times but I’m so very grateful that I have you to share it all with.

I am blessed that you have been beside me since birth

you are

from my past

and

always in my present.

“Say you are my sister, that it may go well with me because of you, and that my life may be spared for your sake.”

Genesis 12:13

Be it for a season or a lifetime

Be grateful for the women that God places in your lives, in your paths and in your hearts

She is more precious than rubies;
nothing you desire can compare with her.”

Proverbs 3:15

Today I’m happy to be linking up with the beautiful women at;

 Modest MomMy Joy Filled LifePurposeful Faith Cheerleading

Five Minute Friday, Faith Filled Friday

Blessing Counters Link, Faith & Fellowship Blog Hop,

Look at the BookArabahjoy Grace & Truth

GraceTruth-600x800

0

Will the “Real” People Please Stand Up…

She saw each new encounter as an opportunity to find a real friend.  Today was no exception…as she walked through her son’s school parking lot and scanned the faces there was nothing familiar to quell her anxiety.

Though friendship was something she sought out no one seemed too receptive.  Wall after wall kept going up with each conversation.

Why is it so hard to find a “real “person these days? Someone willing to engage.

At the close of the day, when volunteering was done she found herself in deep thought.

“What is it about me that people just don’t let me in?”  “Am I that different from them?” “Are they just stand-offish or is it me?” Anxiety suddenly turns into self doubt and self doubt into loneliness.

There are various kinds of people in this world with all different types of needs.  Don’t let others lack of interest, rudeness or just plain apathy drive you to conform to who they are.  The focus should be on the only true friend that will always be there for you.  The one you can always count on.The one who will always be real with you.

Continue to follow your heart as long as your heart is really following Jesus.

leaf heart

I see Christ’s love all around us…even capture it in my pictures.

One who loves a pure heart and who speaks with grace will have the king for a friend.

Proverbs 22:11

Five Minute Friday, Faith Filled Friday

4

You Are More

CeliArt © 2015 @Time2Refuel ™

Its 5:00 am, the day starts off as usual, trudge my way in a sleepy fog off to start the day.  Wake up kids, get breakfast on the table and those lunch boxes ready to go.  They finally get dressed and show up in the kitchen bleary-eyed, but ready to eat.  The morning starts slow but the quiet brings peace that helps conversation flow.

Though daylight has not reached us we’re on our way to the bus stop as my daughter tells me how she’s worried about her grades or that she doesn’t feel smart enough sometimes.  Asks if I think she’s a good writer or if she’s just fooling herself into thinking she can be one someday.  Her eyes upon me wondering, waiting for encouragement.  She cares what I think.  My child needs me. So I tell her the truth.

I don’t say this just because she is my daughter or solely out of love when I say the certainty of her talent is clear. I point out the beauty in the words she pens, the emotion she invokes and how though difficult a feat, she rises to it. I have no doubt she will one day be that writer she aspires to.  She will do great things and she knows I’m her biggest fan.

Next I drive my son to school. At times these drives can be silent when sleepiness is hard to fight.  But today my son had something on his mind.  He blurted out these words, “I know I’m not normal”.  As you can imagine my mind raced trying to process what he meant.  Quickly worried and even briefly blamed myself.  “Why would you say that?” is what came out of my mouth.  What he said next was nothing I had expected to hear.

“I’m not like other kids.  The other boys think all girls are the same, but I know that’s not true.  They’re all different and special in their own way. I think it’s because you homeschooled me Mom.  And I’m glad for that because I learned from being around you and my sister all the time. I know that’s what God wants me to do”.

I thanked him for telling me that but I have to tell you that he has no idea how wonderful that was to hear.

As a mom you work so hard to do everything you can for your children.  You sacrifice and love unconditionally praying that you won’t mess them up and that they’ll grow up to be beautiful human beings. These are the moments, unexpected conversations of the heart that are like payment in full.

My kids know that I love them but cannot even fathom the amount of love I have for them.  These are the moments I want to remember when I feel like I’m not enough.  When I feel overwhelmed and under-appreciated I need to recall these moments, these words, and their love.

I know that down the line I’ll still make mistakes and doubt myself along the way but I’m thankful for God’s reminders. Letting me know that I don’t have to be perfect and in the scheme of things all is well. God has blessed me with an amazing family to nurture and I am privileged to be loved by them.

Proverbs 31:25-28

25 Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come.
26 She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.27 She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.28 Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her.

I encourage you today to take a moment and know that you are loved.  That there is more to being a mom than preparing lunches, making beds or driving your kids around. That all you do is not in vain, all you are is infinitely more important to your family than any mistake you have ever made.  You are more and love covers all.

#Time2Refuel

Fellowship Friday Link UP

http://christianmommyblogger.com/tears_ff63/

Thought Provoking Thursday Link Up

modest mom blog link up

Join in the Link Up

I Choose Joy Link Up

0

Celebrate Your Love

Nineteen years ago today I made a commitment that set off a chain of events that would change my life forever.  It caused two lonely hearts to finally be where they belonged…together.

Wedding Vows @ Time2Refuel
I wrote these vows 19 years ago for my hubby

Now we are a family of four

It’s amazing to think how quickly the years go by.  My husband and I knew each other for 13 years even before we started dating.  Here we are 19 years after our wedding…WOW that means we’ve known one another for 32 years now!!!

That’s amazing!

You know I don’t claim to have the best relationship because we definitely make our share of mistakes, but what I’m noticing more and more is that God is constantly teaching us through every situation.  When things don’t go right I’m learning to ask what He’s trying to tell me, what I need to learn from it.  Trusting God to fill in the cracks is how we make it.

More than ever I’m also noticing that our children are watching.  They’re learning what marriage is, not just from what they’re told but from what they see and experience through us.  I know we fail them a lot but we also show them that no matter what, we love each other and we love God, so everything works itself out.

It’s great whenever we have an excuse to celebrate something. However it becomes more challenging when you’re trying to live on a budget and be debt-free. So we’re sacrificing by cutting back on gifts and fancy dinners.  I really enjoy the little gestures that we can show one another that can also serve to show our kids that the simple things are very important.

For example this morning I left this on our bathroom mirror for my hubby.

Happy Anniversary @ Time2Refuel

Today I have loved you for 6,939 days. 19 Years and Counting


I sent that picture in a text to my daughter as she was on her way to school this morning. She responded with this text…

STOP BEING SO CUTE MY LITTLE HEART CAN’T TAKE IT.

My son’s reaction was similar yet a bit more manly.  Bottom line they love the “mush” and that’s a great thing since I am the mushiest of them all!

So with all that said I would like to encourage you all to make the best of any situation.  If you can’t afford a luxurious outing or gift that’s okay, be creative but most of all be thoughtful and Celebrate Your Love. You’re spouse and children will love you for it.

 #Time2Refuel

0

How to Be a Cool Mom…NOT!

CeliArt © 2015 @Time2Refuel ™

How are we supposed to get things right anyway?  I always dreamed that I’d be the cool mom that my kids would love having me around and tell me everything.  I guess I thought we’d be best buds or something of the sort.  I’ve been realizing a lot about myself lately.  For instance, that I pride myself on being so nice, patient and a great listener however, recent events have proven otherwise.

I found that when my daughter speaks I quickly give an opinion even before considering her state of mind on the issue.  In my head I was just trying to be helpful, but all she heard was predetermined judgment.

Wow! I don’t even recognize myself sometimes, this isn’t who I thought I’d be.  This isn’t who I want to be. I need to work on my listening skills.

Moving on to my son…here’s where my patience comes into play or does it?

Grades aren’t exactly a priority for him, never really have been. However, I have explained on more than one occasion that he needs to try his best.  He always responds with an “I’m sorry and I’ll try harder”.  After the 3rd or 4th time I pretty much lose it.

Patience goes flying right out the proverbial window and I can see him shutting down.  Where’s that together mom that I was supposed to be?  I could sure use her right about now.  Instead I’m left to deal with this half crazed lunatic spouting off how disappointed and frustrated she is.

You know, when my son is acting out or being disrespectful and we sit down to have our devotional, on many occasions the topic has been on point to what he’s been doing or going through.  I always manage to point out to him that perhaps God is trying to tell him something.

But lately it’s me that God is targeting.

From God's lips...

I sat down to my morning devotional in the stillness of my darkened living room to find that God had words, a message, for me.   It spoke of a healthy, loving environment where your kids can feel safe even in failure.

A question was posed about whether or not your child’s mistakes were a doorway to your anger or seen as an opportunity to model God’s love to help them grow and learn something new.

Whoa!  Right there I realized that I had lost perspective, I was broken.

At first I was sad, sad for the mom I wanted to be but am not. Sad that I lost my way.

Then I prayed and was grateful that He showed me not only what I was doing wrong, but guided me to where I needed to be.  That’s not to say that I miraculously changed, but I find myself thinking and praying more before I speak or act.

I know I have a lot of work ahead of me but with God all things are possible, even for the broken.

I trust that He will guide me every step of the way, that I might show my kids the love of God that drives out fear.

There is no fear in love.  But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment.  The one who fears is not made perfect in love.  1 John 4:18

I’d love to hear your thoughts on parenting. How do you keep a handle on it?  Share what works for you…I can use all the help I can get.  

#Time2Refuel

Join Link Ups

http://donnareidland.com/the-jesus-code-depression-is-real-linkup/

wise woman wednesday link up

 

0

In God We Trust

It was just like every other morning.  Wake up early to start the day and trudge through all the “stuff”.  Going through the motions just to get to the end of another day.  Bus stops, school work, homework and study for tests in between.  Taxi back and forth, home to school, school to home with sports or church in between.  There never seems to be any down time.  No time to reflect or just be a family.  That’s a wake-up call letting me know that something needs to be done.  Life is not given to us to merely trudge through wasting our few precious moments together complaining about how bad it all is.  I choose to forego the complaining about what’s wrong and make changes even small ones that will help improve the quality of how we live–of how we are a family.

So…I made a clear statement to my kids.  “When we’re tempted to complain about something no matter how big or small let’s not.  Instead let’s think about a positive”.  As the words left my mouth I have to admit that I was doubting if I could even keep myself in check.  That’s easier said than done but when you pinky promise you have to follow through, at very least make an attempt.  The first day was great we helped one another by holding each other accountable to keeping our promise.  The second day wasn’t as easy.  Complaints seemed to trickle in and were quickly excused away.  That’s when I realized that we were focusing too much on our will and not at all on God’s.

New pinky promise…in everything we do, do it to please the Lord not by our strength but rather through what He alone can provide.

 

Psalm 37:5

Commit everything you do to the Lord. Trust him to help you do it, and he will.

0

Know It All

Well…as sad as it sounds and as quickly as it came school is just around the corner (pause as my kids groan and moan in disgust).  Time just flew by way too fast.  I had so many plans and followed through on so few because my children had alternate ideas.  It’s all good though, I mean it’s their summer break and they should do stuff that they want to do or not do.  So we lounged around alot, saw a few new movies, had some sleepovers, hit the pool quite a bit and did the shopping thing.

My 15 yr old daughter lives her summers in denial, any time I tried to tell her when school was going to start she’d shoo me away and tell me she didn’t want to know.  So…I didn’t mention “school” anymore.  Today we were discussing our next weekend activities and she realized that school was starting in a little over a week and FREAKED out!  She had a mini panic attacked as she told me she felt the stress come over her like a tidal wave.  “I told you so” was all that came to mind and quickly out of my mouth.  She didn’t really appreciate those words of wisdom and could only think about the TWO books she still needed to finish reading before school starts.

My 11 year old son has had a different outlook on summer not so much wanting me to avoid any school conversations.  Rather  than be in denial he’s been contemplating what entering Middle School will be like. Although I have been making sure that he works on his “summer learning” math prep.  He hates every minute of it but I know he needs the extra help and I explain to him that this will give him confidence to do well in math this year.  My words of encouragement fall deaf on his ears.  All he hears is “yada, yada, yada”

Being a parent is TOUGH!  Duh!!!

That fine line of wanting to be your kids friend but drawing the line at disrespect is truly difficult.  Teenagers think they know all they need to and that we are just not familiar with how their world works now.  We are out of date and don’t have a clue as to what’s cool and what’s not.  We worry and plan too much.  Luckily my kids are genuinely good at heart so I tend to not want to kill them when I focus on that attribute. However every time my daughter is sarcastic or my son tells me “I know”, I just want to scream!  Well actually, I’d really just like to grab them by the shoulders and shake them uncontrollably until they realize they shouldn’t do that.  That would be wrong!  Satisfying…BUT WRONG!  He he he

Seriously, it’s just that sometimes or rather more than often they think they know it all and view our advice as a lecture.  Today my son asked how long we need to be on this budget plan to pay off our debt because he wants to go to Disney.  I told him that we were close to paying it all off and he said “you always say that”.  I let out a slight chuckle but quickly regained my composure to explain how all the sacrificing is paying off and that their dad is sacrificing the most out of all of us.  All my son heard was…”yada, yada, yada” once again.  I went through the whole payout plan thinking that it would make things clear and they could appreciate that sooner than later we would be out of debt and saving for that long overdue vacation.  Words, words and more words.  My daughter turned to me and said  “we got it Mom, we had it in the first ten minutes”.  She smiles her little sarcastic smile as she cocks her held ever so innocently.  “Ok then!  As long as you got it.”

Kids soooo miss the point of things sometimes.  Here I thought I was sharing with them and bringing them in to understand why we do what we do but in reality they just want what they want.  They don’t want to know how the doughnuts are made, they just want to eat ’em.  I recognize that I talk things to death sometimes (ssshhhh, a lot of times) but I have to say that more and more I find myself wishing I’d been told certain things as a kid so I could have made better choices. Though my intention is to pass this knowledge on I have to be realistic in knowing the truth of the matter is that I’m an “adult” thinking this and rare is the kid/teen that will share that longing.

 

So I must decide to accept that kids think they know it all

but in reality

don’t want to know it all

because….

they already do?   

UPDATE: Later that evening my daughter was completely stressed about all things school related. She came to me in tears and needing a hug along with some reassurance.  I did what any parent would when faced with this situation. I just melted and gave way to comforting her. Reminding her of how special and smart she is.  How God would not give her more than she could handle and that no matter how tough it seemed right now these would be years that she would look back on fondly because we tend to forgot the bad and focus on the good.  She suddenly remembered that she would be co-president of the Bible Club at school this year and was instantly excited.

Thank you Lord for the ray of sunshine in the mist of her storm.

he is like the light of morning at sunrise on a cloudless morning, like the brightness after rain that brings grass from the earth. 2 Samuel 23:4

Btw…we decided together that next summer there would be no denial.  We’ll see… #LoveMyKids

 

#Time2Refuel

0

The Grass Isn’t Always Greener | Rachel Cruze

Before you read the re-blog I’ve posted here by Rachel Cruze I’d like to share a bit of what I deal with when it comes to my kids.

On so many different occasions I find my kids wanting and “needing” more and more. Today it’s that “awesome” game, tomorrow it’s that amazing skateboard.  I can’t keep up.  I’m sure all parents face this at one time or another…at least I hope I’m not alone in this.

Grass...what grass

Grass? What grass?!

There are spenders and there are savers.  I happen to have one of each.  My daughter saves and only splurges once in a blue moon. My son on the other hand has a new favorite item every week.  I truly can’t keep up with him anymore.  I’ve tried time and again to explain that he needs to relax and save.  That doesn’t go over very well.  Last Friday he wanted a game for his Nintendo 3ds which he purchased with his own money and today he explained to me that he wanted a different one.  When I said to wait on it he came back to me with another game choice.  He’s apparently missing the point.  I’m not giving up though…today I had a conversation with him about making good choices now, so that he doesn’t have to struggle in his future. “It doesn’t matter what your friends have, you need to be happy with what you have.”  Hey, little seeds that’s all I can plant and pray that they take root as I try to lead by example.

I came across this post by Rachel Cruze and felt I needed to share it.  I know I benefited from it and wanted to pass on the blessing.

Thanks Rachel…

 The Grass Isn’t Always Greener | Rachel Cruze.

Also as a great read I’m including a link for a book written by Rachel Cruze and her dad Dave Ramsey.  I can ‘t wait to check it out.

Smart Money Smart Kids