She was so bubbly during dinner time. Ate her food so quickly in order to make it on time to church for her usual Wednesday night youth group bible study. A few hours later when it was over, her mom pulled into the church parking lot to pick her up. She opened the car door to take a seat and immediately her mother noticed that there was something different. Something heavy in the air. Nothing bubbly about it. Not wanting to be intrusive, her mom casually asked how her night went, to which she answered a short 
Mom pressed a bit more to discuss the topic they had studied that night and quickly moved on to ask who she had been “hanging out” with. The answer was pained, abrupt and disjointed. Leading her mom to believe that the heavy feeling she felt was not just her imagination but rather in her daughter’s demeanor. Point blank her mom asked, “Are you okay?”
To which she received a quick
Her daughter was very insistent and went as far as saying 
The truth…she was tired. Tired of being ignored. Later on that night she let her mother into the truth of the matter.
Her bubbly demeanor was burst
Can you relate? What do you do when your teen feels pushed aside, forgotten or left out? My heart breaks every time I think about what she must have felt. As an adult I’ve experienced that sensation of being left out, not being able to connect with those that we’d like to be friends with and the pain that goes with it. Imagine how much more devastating to a teenaged girl. I can see how that could happen to me because I was quite shy. This young girl however is extremely outgoing, involved in her church and always willing to help a hand. All the adults rave about her. You couldn’t ask for a sweeter girl. So why do kids her age not seek her out or include her. The saddest part is that this girl has been battling this issue quietly for several years now. She confessed to her mother that she even opened up about it during a bible study one night last year. She told them she felt left out and how she would really like to feel included, like part of the group. Do you know that not one girl approached her afterward. Poor thing was so disillusioned. It just doesn’t make sense. If anyone has some insight I’d love to pass it on.
As a parent our first instinct would be to protect our child’s heart. It’s so easy to get caught up in the hurt which quickly turns into defensive anger. What do you do when they get angry because they just can’t deal with it anymore?
Take this opportunity to speak to them about how God wants them to trust Him completely and that sometimes we place too much emphasis on the wrong things. How they shouldn’t let circumstances change who they are but rather allow God to mold them into who He knows they can be.
“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.”―
C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves
I’m praying for God to heal this girls wounded heart and send her some very special, close friends. That He in turn stir their hearts to seek her out, forming a bond created by His power. That she not allow anger in but rather cast it out in the name of Jesus and let down her walls in order to truly, freely trust that God is in control.
Though she may feel broken, she is not forgotten
Will you please join me in praying for this young lady that so desperately wants to connect? Also for her mother who is heartbroken for her daughter and probably won’t be getting much sleep tonight. If so please show your support by leaving your prayers and words of encouragement in the comments.
Happy to be linking up with: Modest Mondays, Proverbial Homemaker, Motivate and Rejuvenate Mondays, A Mama’s Story, What Joy is Mine, The Life of Faith, Mom’s the Word, Titus 2sDay, Testimony Tuesday, #RaRaLinkUp, Purposeful Faith, Cornerstone Confessions, Blog Hop, Teaching What Is Good,Wise Woman, WholeHearted Wednesday, Women With Intention, Three Word Wednesday, TellHisStory, Coffee for your Heart, Wednesday Prayer Girls, Word Filled Wednesday, I Choose Joy Link Up, Thought Provoking Thursday Link Up, The Deliberate Mom, Growing in Grace, A Field of Wild Flowers, Angela Parlin,While I Wait, Arabahjoy Grace & Truth, Imparting Grace, Little Things Thursday, Graced Simplicity, Fellowship Fridays, Friday Favorites, Friday Flash Blog,Momfessionals, Faith Filled Friday,Give Me Grace, The Weekend Brew,Sunday Stillness,A Group Look, Spiritual Sundays, Faith N Friends, DancingWithJesus
time 2 refuel 
Praying for this young girl. Praying that God use this to make her tender hearted toward others that might be experiencing the same thing, praying that she will allow the Lord to use her to reach out to others that are lonely and need a friend, praying that she looks at this as an opportunity to be used by God and that she know her worth in Jesus Christ.
Psalm 139:14 I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works, And that my soul knows very well.
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Beautiful verse. A simple truth we tend to forget often. Thanks for the reminder and thanks for praying. ♥
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This middle school girl needs a focus, like music or other lessons she might be interested in. Or, you could do much more than praying – maybe you could start some kind of group at your house for that age group, even if this is your child – it could be anything: art, craft, hiking, charity, etc. You know that God loves her, but she needs to get out of herself and experience that she is liked by others. You could help her with that – also if you would be the mom!
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Though joining activities is a great idea, this high school girl is involved in so many different things already. She’s the VP of her schools Bible Club, Co Editor of the school magazine, leads a bible study group of girls at church, she is a tireless volunteer in her church and community I could go on and on, so that part is definitely covered.
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I have worked with youth groups and taught middle school, so I have seen this scenario many times. Now, as a mother, any time I feel like other kids are rejecting my children, my heart breaks in a way I had never felt before. I certainly don’t have any advice, but will pray right now for this girl. (And I loved the C.S. Lewis quote on vulnerability–God must be trying to tell me something, because I wrote a post earlier this week about vulnerability!). Thank you for your words.
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So glad you enjoyed the quote. I read it for the first time just this week. It’s a truth that speaks volumes. Appreciate the prayer.
By the way…love your site http://scrapingraisins.blogspot.com/ really enjoyed your last post. 🙂
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Reblogged this on My Daily Musing.
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Thanks for sharing.
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My pleasure, ):.
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Praying for this sweet young girl and for her loving, vulnerable mom. Love the C.S. Lewis quote. Thanks for sharing from your heart.
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Thanks for the prayers! 🙂
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I know this scenario all too well. I went through it with my oldest. She was totally rejected by her peers in youth group. And I mean to her face when she asked several times if she could sit with them on the way back from the ski hill and when they stopped at McD’s afterwards – I witnessed it myself and she had to sit with the pastor on the bus (my son was sitting with me) and she had to sit with me in McD’s. It hurt and I was MAD. She had tried so hard to ‘fit in’, to make these girls her friends. Nothing worked. In the days following that incident, we were listening to KLove online and one of the DJ’s said this, “Don’t worry about fitting in. In order to make a difference, you have to be unique.” My daughter held on to those words. We spent a lot of time in prayer and just talking about how she was feeling. Her heart felt safe with me – this is so important. This daughter needs to know her heart is safe with her momma. My daughter spent a lot of time in His word, too. We prayed for a special friend. God did answer that prayer – but then she moved away. So, we were back to ‘square one’.
Last spring, we decided to put our house on the market – it sold during the summer. We had an opportunity to move to another city and attend a new church. We lived in a small town and we were very involved with our church there. A very wise friend told me that she wished she had changed churches for the sake of her son. He had the same experience we were having – no friends, rejection, hurt, pain – and then he got caught up in the wrong crowd because he was lonely – and into drugs. She said our decision to move and find a church where our daughter could make friends was a very wise thing to do. And that’s what we did. And we are so glad we did.
When we were searching for a new church, we wanted to be sure that we found a church where out daughter was establishing godly friendships. We started attending one and before we made the decision to continue on, she tried the youth group FIRST. Right away, she started making friends. What a difference! She went from no friends to at least 5 now!
All that to say this – maybe this family needs to prayerfully consider changing churches. I know many people will disagree with this – BUT – we must do what we can to prevent our children from falling away from God. If that means changing churches to make godly friends, then so be it. I can’t even tell you how relieved both my husband and I are – how thankful we are – that we moved and found a new church home for the sake of our children. As parents, we must fight for the hearts of our children and that means making difficult decisions many times.
Can you keep your readers updated on this situation? I’ll be praying – and so will my daughter.
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Let me first say this…You are such a beautiful soul. I feel your heart in the words you’ve written so genuinely. Thank you for that.
So glad to hear that things worked out for her. God is so good! Switching churches is an idea her mom had considered on and off however it was a little tougher to do considering how involved with the church her daughter is and how much she LOVES serving there. You see the adults she serves with are amazing with her so you see it’s a rock and a hard place kind of situation. Perhaps visiting another youth group might be something that helps, even if they didn’t stop going to their own church at least she’d be meeting new people. Thank you for suggesting it and thank you for your prayers. Where two or more are gathered…
Most definitely will keep readers posted. I can’t wait to see what God does with this situation. Thanks again. ♥
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I wish there were easy answers for this issue that plagues girls of all ages. I feel this way at 43. There is something about females that excludes others. I ma
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I wouldn’t trade anything to go back to those years. I was the rejected one. It’s taken a lifetime to come to the place of knowing that God loves me, and that is enough. It’s hard for a teenage girl to be okay with that answer. So much at that age is wrapped up in friendships and social activities. I’m so sorry for this young lady. I’ll be praying for her.
My older son is almost thirteen, and seventh grade has been up and down for him. He’s always been a bit socially awkward, and now that fact is being highlighted as the “cool kids” come to the top of the pecking order. On those hard days, I just hold my son (because he still lets me) and pray for him.
Thanks for sharing this, and reminding me that kids are still dealing with rejection, and that as adults, we can pray for them.
Stopping by from Holly Barrett’s place. 🙂
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Yes, this is not a new problem. It’s so sad to know that rejection is still so prevalent. We’re still praying for her as well and thank you for doing the same. I’ll be praying for you son, thanks for sharing and for stopping by.
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